Understanding Imposter Syndrome (and What You Can Do About It)

You’ve probably heard the term “imposter syndrome” thrown around while in a group chat with friends or while listening to that one mental health podcast you love. But what is it, really?

Imposter syndrome isn’t just self-doubt or the occasional “off” day. It’s a persistent, nagging belief that you’ve somehow fooled everyone around you into thinking you’re more capable, qualified, or successful than you really are. And even if all signs point to the fact that you’re doing great, it can still feel like you’re one step away from somebody discovering that you aren’t as “qualified” as you appear to be. 

And with studies showing that 70% of adults experience imposter syndrome at some point in their lives, while it can feel isolating, it’s more common than we realize.

At Soultality Psychotherapy in Cambridge, MA, we work with students and professionals who deal with this exact feeling, and often they’ve been carrying it silently for years. They’ve checked every box and hit every milestone, yet still feel like they don’t quite belong in the rooms they’re in.

In this blog, we’re unpacking what imposter syndrome actually is, how it shows up in everyday life, and what you can do (starting today!) to quiet it down.

What Is Imposter Syndrome, Really?

Imposter syndrome is the persistent feeling that tells people that they’re not as competent or capable as other people believe they are. It convinces people that their success is just good luck or timing, and that eventually someone’s going to figure it out. 

And it doesn’t always come in loud and obvious. More often, it shows up quietly in thoughts like:

“Soon they’re going to realize that I’m completely underqualified for this position.”

“Everyone else seems to know what they’re doing. Why don’t I?”

“Sure, I’ve done this before, but can I really do it again?”

These kinds of thoughts are more common than you think, especially for people who’ve achieved a lot but still feel like they haven’t “earned it.” And at Soultality, we see this all the time in people who look confident on the outside, but are secretly waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Imposter syndrome can stem from any number of things:

  • Growing up in high-achieving environments

  • Being praised more for results rather than effort

  • Pivoting into a new field or starting something on your own

  • Getting promoted quickly before you felt “ready”

  • Having a nontraditional path that doesn’t look like everyone else’s

But oftentimes people can understand that they’re having imposter syndrome thoughts, but they don’t know WHY it’s showing up.

Where Does Imposter Syndrome Come From?

Now that we’ve talked about what imposter syndrome looks and feels like, let’s dig a little deeper, because this isn’t something that just shows up one day out of the blue.

More often than not, imposter syndrome is the result of a lot of different thoughts, experiences, and emotions that are working behind the scenes. And if you’ve ever wondered WHY this is happening, it’s normally because other mental and emotional patterns are feeding into the imposter syndrome itself.

Fear of Failure

Fear of failure is when people experience anxiety or dread over the possibility of not achieving or meeting certain goals. This can lead people to avoid new situations or opportunities. When people are already experiencing this, imposter syndrome can turn up the dial and create thoughts like:

“If I mess up once, they’ll realize I don’t belong here.”

That kind of pressure doesn’t just stress out somebody; it puts them in a state where they don’t want to attempt trying new things, taking risks, or going after what they really want in life.

Self-Doubt

Self-doubt is when a person lacks confidence in their abilities and questions the decisions they make. While some self-doubt is totally normal, constantly second-guessing can chip away at a person’s confidence and convince them that their wins were just a result of good luck and timing.

Cognitive Distortions

These are sneaky and unhelpful thought patterns that make everything feel more intense than it is. It can lead to thoughts like:

“If I mess up this meeting, I’ll probably get fired.”

“If I don’t get this job, I’ll probably never get hired anywhere else.”

These distortions make imposter syndrome louder and more convincing, even when the thoughts aren’t really based in reality. 

Self Comparison

It’s hard to feel like a person belongs when they’re constantly measuring themselves against other people’s accomplishments. Comparison is tricky because people lean into comparison being the sole barometer for how well they feel they’re doing, instead of letting their own success define how they feel about themselves. 

When you bring imposter syndrome into the mix, it can create a feeling that if they don’t have the same qualifications as a coworker, then they don’t belong. 

Using Therapy to Work Through Imposter Syndrome

At Soultality, we use cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) to help people experiencing problems from imposter syndrome. CBT is a form of talk therapy that helps people identify and work through unhelpful thought patterns to improve well-being. 

We create a space where we help people understand their thoughts, challenge the ones that aren’t serving their life, and create a space for more helpful thoughts that make the person feel more confident and proud of themselves.

In sessions, we may:

  • Explore where the imposter thoughts first began

  • Identify how those thoughts are showing up in their day-to-day routine

  • Use cognitive behavioral tools to reframe unhelpful thinking patterns

  • Build internal validation, so their confidence isn’t dependent on external circumstances

You’d be amazed at how freeing it can be to say fears out loud to someone who gets it and knows how to help!

At Home Exercises for Imposter Syndrome

While therapy is powerful, we typically encourage our patients to continue working outside of sessions so they can keep experiencing progress.

Some exercises we have our patients do at home are:

  • Tracking wins: Write down things you’re proud of each week (especially the small wins!)

  • Practicing self-validation: Instead of waiting for other people to say you’re doing a good job, start practicing saying it to yourself 

  • Challenging comparison: Anytime you notice you’re comparing yourself to others, ask yourself if this is helpful. It’s normally not!

  • Paying attention to self-talk: The way our internal dialogue affects our moods can be significant. Noticing and acknowledging thoughts can help when imposter syndrome is popping up.

There is A World With Relief From Imposter Syndrome

And with 70% of adults experiencing imposter syndrome, we at the Soutality Center for Psychotherapy in Cambridge, MA, want to know that you don’t have to live a life comparing your success to others and feeling like your success is only from luck and timing. We want you to enjoy the success you’ve experienced, and we’re here to help you do that with gentle psychotherapy support. 

If you’re ready to start working through your imposter syndrome and stop letting it hold you back, please schedule a free 1:1 consultation with one of our therapists. Click here to schedule an appointment today.

You’ve already done so much. Imagine what else is possible when you’re able to stop doubting and start believing in yourself.

Julia Hale